No One Understands Might as Well be Dead

Having a Baby no one seems to get its stressful. The lady carries the baby for 9 months has all kinds of pain. Then if you're like me after the baby you start to have teeth problem. However, this being my 3 babies over 12 years this one has hit me hardest being depressed the most and no one sees it. When you have the baby 24/7 and don't get a real break even if a baby's 3 weeks old. It works things up in you. When you are only one feeding the baby, changing, the baby cleaning the baby doing everything for your baby. It sucks. Then the father says well I work 11 hours and don't get my sleep because of the baby. Well, I would love to go job and not do this 24/7. Giving me one night out for 2 hours is nothing when I have sat in my room with our daughter crying no stop because the only real adult talks I have is with my mother. My own husband ignores me now don't sit and talks with me when he comes home from work goes right to his man area. I feel pretty much everyone hates me now even our own daughter. Depression is just getting worse. When your own husband doesn't even want touch or kiss you anymore. Than bitches at you saying you hate everyone when your upset and mad and yelling because hello no one cares for me. What was the point of having a child if he doesn't want to be the father at all. Shove in my face you work and I hate everyone. It be best if I was gone I swear its coming to that point now. he doesn't need me he works all the time he can do it all on his own. I'm just worthless to him honestly someone in the way someone who hates and yells and gets upset as he states. Why even be in the world than, it just shows no one cares. he doesn't care anymore he doesn't see for months now I've been hurting. I've not been the same since my pregnancy started. I lay at night wondering why I'm still her why I'm even alive. All I do is screw everything up over and over again. It shows I'm just going end up dying alone because sooner or later I will just chase everyone away because they don't show me the real love but ignore me. once I start to be ignored I just give up honestly whats point of anything. If you can't do something and you change than your sick me personally the way I feel. Drinking and Smoking is more important than spending time with children and wife. All because you work so many hours not even an hour time with anyone is aloud can't even give the wife a 10-minute break to even take a shower is sad.